Love and Relationship
HEALTH AND WELLNESS CORNER
By Dr. Ryeal Simms Ph.D.
After most of my lectures, someone will ask me: “Why do I keep attracting the same person over and over again?” Usually, my answer is always the same -- Because you haven't gotten over your ex.
What we don't realize is that when we're in a serious, committed relationship, we become addicted to our significant other. Falling in love causes us to release certain drugs that bond us together. Two of those common drugs are the neuropeptides called oxytocin and vasopressin.
Oxytocin, known as the love hormone, is a neurotransmitter that is produced from the brain regions called the hypothalamus and the pituitary gland, which are both located at the base of the brain. When these hormones are released during a sexual activity or childbirth, it bonds us together. Another neurochemical called dopamine causes us to experience an altered state of consciousness, a euphoria, and a high similar to a drug addict.
These chemicals make us fall madly in love and it’s very difficult to detox from.
When the brain is still in love, but our significant other is no longer in the picture, you also can't stop thinking about this person. You hear your ex’s voice, miss your ex’s touch, and you can’t stop thinking about places you used to go or songs and movies you once enjoyed together. This is when we reach the point and say, “We are one.” And it’s at this point that the brain is fully aware that it's no longer experiencing this altered state of consciousness, so it starts going through withdrawal.
The bottom line is: No, you're not attracting the same person. You’re seeking out someone that's similar to your ex.
So, next time you say to your friend that it feels like you’ve been knowing a love interest forever, you just might be right, because it could be your ex in a different body.
