Mind You. Mind Your Business.
Business
By: Dr. Jena L. Bell
It’s Women’s Month!
All month around the globe, we are saluting the achievement of our Sheros, past present. Women who fought for all women to have the right to achieve her dreams, to actively participate in a society where she could use all of her gifts and talents, to have the basic human rights. Over 100 years later, the fight still continues. Albeit, a different level, we still struggle for our place, gender equality and pay equity remain major challenges.
But despite the challenges, women remain a formidable force in society that cannot be ignored and will not. Our advances in business, entrepreneurship, medicine, technology, science are all prevalent just in recent times as the world still struggles to combat COVID-19. Women are on the front lines making a difference from the developing research that led to the COVID vaccine, innovating in new businesses and technology, serving as physicians and nurses on the front line defense against the pandemic, teachers assuring our children are educated, and yes mothers, aunts, grandmothers, godmothers, all stepping in to help moms and kids navigate virtual learning.
Let’s all breathe and congratulate the modern day woman, making it happen every single day while running businesses, corporations, homes, teams, and family. A full honorable salute.
While taking the month to salute all the wins, big and small, we must acknowledge the impact it’s having on the woman. From my experience as a coach to women leaders and entrepreneurs, as a former corporate executive, and a mom, I know it is all done at a heavy personal cost. As women, we climb and climb, doing so much for others, to achieve society’s expectations of the modern woman, that we do it at a cost to our mental, emotional and physical health. Take a moment to reflect. You attend to the total wellbeing of everyone in your life, with top priority. From making doctor’s appointment, to taking them to the doctor, making sure exams are current, and seeking help for the important people in your life, but ignore your own.
Just recently, I was coaching a client, she revealed to me that her doctor recommended that she come in for major medical tests. But she postponed the appointments until the second quarter. It was said so casually, that my concern was that it would become a casualty to her health. But yet, her husband’s dental appointments had great priority.
Ladies, stop the madness!
You are your own priority. You are your business. The most critical asset you have is you. Your empire is you life. God can give you all the talents, gifts, ideas, creativity, and strategies you need to build and create the best empire, but without you, there is no empire.
Why Women Choose Others
Okay, I am going out on a limb here. It’s not your fault. Society has indicated the working world is a man’s world. It was built around men, what they want and how they do it. Success and expectations were set accordingly. When women wanted to participate, she had to “give up” her personal life as she knew it to “fit in.” But women were determined to do both. To do it all. So the struggle to juggle home and work started and frankly, has never ended.
The Struggle is real.
Recent Gallop surveys studying the “great resignation” and women in the workforce, report daunting statistics that indicate the struggle to juggle this duality in a world that has not learned how to support women in the workplace, whether she leads the workplace or not.
The statistics show:
• 48% of women report experiencing stress daily
• 66% report actively worrying daily
• 61% indicated feeling burned out
• 1 in 4 reported considering leaving the workplace.
For those that left or decided to pursue a side hustle in entrepreneurship, the Small Business Administration (SBA) reports the highest escalation of new business starts in over a decade since the start of the pandemic. In 2021, SBA reported 5.4 million applications for new business. During the same period, they reported women represented 31% of all small businesses.
The struggle will continue. I recently saw a woman entrepreneur post a Tik Tok video showing her working 24/7 at her own business. She left her corporate job because she did not want to work 9-5. She now works 24/7! While frustrated, it was a statement of pride.
It is engrained in the fabric of your being. With such musical anthems as “I Am Every Woman” made famous by Chaka Khan in 1978 and later re-released by Whitney Houston in 1992, and “Working 9-5” recorded by Dolly Pardon in 1980, the power of the “strong woman” thrives. Women around the globe chant mantras such as “I Got This,” “ I Am a Baddie,” “I Am the Boss Babe,” to “The Girl CEO” all with pride and a sense of sisterhood. I know. I have been there.
Ladies, we got this down to an art. But the truth of the matter, it’s killing us. Heart disease has emerged as one of the leading causes of death among women.
There is a better way.
This women’s month, let’s change the narrative. Let’s rewrite the meaning to the song. Let’s stop the madness. We have the power to change it. The strength is not it continuing the madness, but the willingness to change it. Change the narrative of the strong woman to the healthy woman, in charge of her life, her health, her “business of her life.” Coaching women over the years, there are solutions that will work for you to achieve the life you truly want.
Here are six tips to encourage you to Mind You. Mind Your Business:
1. Reset your priorities. You are your business. Mind not just part of you, but all of you. Most women neglect their emotional and mental health when gearing up for business. Greater priority is given to acquiring tangible achievements. Particularly, Women of Color, the focus on educational pursuits have led to the designation of highest segment of college graduates, advanced degrees and new business starts. Steeped in historical biases and inequities, the Woman of Color has focused on breaking barriers and overcoming biases by building a resume that is unmatched, just to be accepted. The stress alone is unimaginable.
2. Reimagine your life. Your life is not a tool to compartmentalize. It is who you are. You are the co-creator of the life you want, desire and deserve. Life is multi-facet with at least 10 aspects to consider, to enjoy, and to give your attention. You can ease and flow with the right strategies, right mindset skills, and right decisions for you.
3. Redefine your expectations. Expectations stem from beliefs that may not be based in reality but emerge from judgement. Whether they come from parents or others, they may not be right for you. Many women have chosen paths for their lives based on the expectations of their parents, spouses or even society. Oftentimes, giving in to these expectations without challenge all while feeling unfulfilled.
4. Enlist help. Seeking help may be foreign to you. You are accustomed to doing it all. You handle it all. You are everything to everybody. It will be difficult because you have been conditioned to believe you can and must do it all in order to achieve success.
5. Seek Fitness. Give up trying to find balance. It does not exist. Balance is what society convinced women was the solution if they wanted to succeed in business and life. It was a fallacy then and today. Your life is one, not two. It has many facets that require you to find the ideal fitness for you. Most women struggle with the concept because it’s foreign behavior. Don’t struggle. You can get help.
6. Fill your own cup. Most women give until they are empty. When you are empty or feeling a sense of emptiness, you don’t give thee best of you but the little you have left. It’s not optimal nor healthy. It leaves you feeling guilty, less valued, less confident and shifts your emotions to feeling inadequate for the wrong reasons. It’s up to you to protect your peace.
You can move beyond. You must. As you move onward, move with you in mind. You are your business.
I’m Dr. Jena L. Bell, Executive Coach and Strategist. Please follow me on Linked In and Instagram @drjenalbell. Visit my website at www.drjenalbell.com.
